The link above is an email John sent to me after he realized I really wanted a separation. He cut off all finances while I was at a hotel for safety. I had just flown back into CA from attending the birth of my Grandson in Texas. John had warned me that there would be hell to pay when I returned home. He told me I would need to sit down on the chair and take it. That I was not aloud to speak, only repent. My son witnessed this warning on speaker phone the night before I departed DFW airport in Texas. Upon my return to San Francisco, I grew more fearful. I ended up checking into a hotel that night. I later text John to let him know I was tired, it was late, and I felt we should meet at home the following day. John spoke of burning, fire, hell a lot. He called me Jezabel. He said, “Jezabel burns. ” Freaky considering he stored 45 gallons of gasoline on the side of our home in Pacheco Valle. He was unhinged most of the time.
John often communicates in cryptic form on his Facebook. It was norm to me. I take this email as a warning. Looking back now, absolutely it was a WARNING. He has carried it out for the past few years. He isn’t done I assure you. The reason I am afraid of him after all of these years? He told me I betrayed him “Spiritually. ” That I was the love of his life. That he had waited all of his life to meet me. I had no right to leave him. He always told me that God gave me to him.
We met at St. Helena Catholic Church. He later told me he had been watching me for 3 weeks. At that point I had no clue who he was. He believed God told him we were meant to be. We attended Mass multiple times per week. It was never enough. It grew weird as he seemed delusional at times. So in the end, he told me I betrayed him.
What he didn’t realize is that I did love him, but I left him because of his violence. 9 months of the Mankind Batterer program seemed to make him worse. He knew I was about to file for a Legal Separation, and then strategically filed a Dissolution first. It took me years to get over the Spiritual Abuse. The Oceans’s Roar haunts…